this girl is just all eyes and hair. messy hair always in her face, in her food. today she’s sick. her dad stayed up with her all night, holding that hair while she puked her little guts out and i slept right through it. love them.
i’m counting my gifts these days and i can truly say i can be thankful in all things when my gratitude journal looks something like this.
- thank you, Lord, that will hasn’t puked in a few hours
- thank you, Lord, that jude puked on the tile and not the upholstery
- thank you, Lord, that when abby puked it didn’t wake the other two
and so on. you get the idea. anyway, sorry about the graphic post but that’s my week!
sorry i dropped off the planet. i’m thinking that what’s going on in my life is maybe somewhat interesting to me, but maybe not to you. but i’m just going to throw it out there. ready?
1. i’m on a diet. i know. i’m always on a diet, right? but i always quit too soon. i have one million reasons to quit a diet. do you want to hear them? we’re about to get personal.
- no one cares how i look
- real beauty is on the inside
- baking is my hobby
- it’s not working anyway
- obsessing over a diet is not healthy either
BUT i also have a handful of reasons to stick one out. and here they are:
- i’d like to climb mount kilimanjaro in the somewhat near future and i need to get in shape. that would definitely be the most physical thing i’ve ever done and those things don’t usually appeal to me, but this one does and i can’t do it unless i’m physically fit
- i don’t usually finish the things i start. i’m not sure if this is a flaw or a quirk yet, but while i decide, i figure maybe i’ll just finish something and see how it goes. it’s 42 days long. i’m 6 days in.
- sugar makes me feel bad and carbs make me feel bloated, so i’m just going to do this little experiment and see how i do without those things. it’s going pretty well this time.
this diet is a little different from those i’ve done in the past. i just made a few rules (one sugar a week, 2 drinks a week, no straight up carby foods). i’ve made mini goals by the week. one week in i get new make-up, three weeks gets me a haircut, and the full six weeks, a new outfit. that’s kind of fun. also, i’ve bizarrely taken to photographing my ugly food. see?
canned tuna does not photograph well. what’s up with this? i don’t know.
so that’s that. in other news…
abby’s developed a serious attitude problem
will is sick with the pukes
and brandon is becoming slightly obsessed with the renovation of our new farmhouse, which we close on THIS THURSDAY (insert squeel)!
i have also become slightly obsessed with clay tiles. first i wanted to buy them, but turns out my taste (once again) just happens to lean to the obscenely expensive. well it’s just clay and paint, right? somebody’s making these things, so we decided perhaps we would make tiles ourselves. and so begins a new adventure in making tile. we’re buying a kiln this week. here’s some of my favorites (tiles, not kilns).
and this one is amazing.
and i’m missing my photography business of all things. looking for something fresh and feeling artsy.
so that’s what’s up these days. diets, and tiles, and vomit. how was your weekend?
Sometimes, if you get up at 4am to hear God’s voice before everyone elses He’ll tell you something you didn’t know. And He let me in on a little insight today, a gem for me, and I hope one for you too.
Yesterday I cried ragey tears, complete with ugly cry, to my husband. It was 3pm-ish, the beginning of what I call the witching hour. My whole house gets very very loud. Everyone declares that they are starving and that they don’t like our food. The house looks as if I hadn’t done the dishes and the laundry all. day. long.
I told him that I just get so exhausted doing the same thing over and over and over and over and the result is the same… the job is not finished. It will never be finished! That’s the nature of it. But it can make a girl cuh-crazy sometimes. You should hear the hysteria in my mind with this.
So this morning I wake up to do it all again. I am begging God to give me patience for this job, the one I know He’s called me to. It’s definitely not a misunderstanding or anything. This is where I need to be, so why do I feel so unequipped and incapable of joyfully performing the same damn tasks over and over everyday?!
I was praying and I told God “I guess I just need to get comfortable with the idea that I’m like a professional put-backer”. Do you know what I mean? Put it all back to good. The dishes, the table, the floor, the baby bum, the toilet, etc. Put it all back to the way I curated it. The way it’s supposed to go. And do you know what God’s own Spirit said to my heart? He said, “Me too. That’s what I do. Put it all back to good, every day again and again. The same stuff, even. Every day.”
So it’s kind of like sharing a job title. And if He can be patient and kind, surely I can too. Especially if we work together. And anyway, He just wanted me to tell you too.
so guys, i guess it’s about time for a house tour. for a few reasons, actually. mostly mine. see, we’re thinking of listing this little baby of mine on the market, like, possibly really really soon. which actually produces all kinds of mixed emotions. i have loved this house more than any person should love an inanimate object. she has no feelings. but she has so much charm. i have to start thinking about what colors buyers would rather see than myself. or practical use of spaces. we’re not always practical. things like that. but before i venture into depersonalizing my little haven, i thought i need to document it. my first house. i’ll love her forever.
this weekend we spent the whole time outside paving and ‘rocking’ the patio until it looked like this.
next week we finish out the courtyard with terra cotta saltillo tiles. it’s going to be beautiful and i’m not going to want to sell it! so the moral of the story, ladies, is not to put off your awesome home improvement projects until you are selling your house. that’s no way to live. and that’s what i’m reminding myself for the new house.
is it wrong to dress your daughter up like a little mini me? cause she can pull off styles that i never really could. the bohemian look, while absolutely darling on a 4 year old, just feels a little funny on a 32 year old. but my mom pulled it off alright, so…
ha! ok, so sorry this blog bites the big one. it’s got a major identity crisis. man, i started blogging just to document my life and thoughts in a creative way and got way sidetracked. i figured maybe i should talk more about you and less about me. then i tried to figure out what you needed, but you’re a complicated lady with many layers, so gosh, i don’t know. but let me just get back to what i know. me and my peeps. then i don’t have to stress so much about original content and relevant material and all that. let’s just chat instead. maybe only my grandma will read my blog. that’s perfectly cool. so on with it.
here’s what’s up with us lately.
jude’s been home 6 months! i finally figured out his hair. i was just getting to that place where i was just going to buzz it, but his head is misshapen and looks a little funny without big hair. and also his hair is just so awesome. but i wasn’t doing it justice at all. but i got it, y’all. trial and error, but i think his new look suits his personality better. the cheeky thing.
on the homefront we did find our fredericksburg place. we close on it next month. wanna see?
it’s a 105 year old farmhouse. amazing potential. i adore it. and i can’t wait to get started on the glampsite. we’ll be opening late this summer!
We’re also going to be giving homeschool another shot. Will has come miles in terms of social growth. Brandon is a great teacher (has a degree in early childhood education), and is going to be taking on the school project this round. last time it was too much for me with the kids and the house and all that. this time it’s him, and i’m the sidekick. i’m pumped about that. i think it’s a really good match. so life is about to get really interesting. we’re totally living the dream. i love it when that happens.
hey guys, i’m back from my hill country property scouting adventure. came back empty handed. none of the properties are quite working for what we want to do or they’ve already got offers in. SO that’s that, but it’s all good. God is showing me that i need to trust more and chill more. and he’s also probing my little heart lately. we’re doing some real introspection over here, and i’m prompted to bring it up here because i’m guilty of doing this in alot of areas and maybe you are too. so, the other day i’m daydreaming the day away. my dishes are piling up, laundry too, and the kids are really putting a buzzkill on my blog surfing. in fantasyland i’m relaxing on my cottage porch, kids playing in the yard. and i feel such peace and rest in this imaginary place that i stay too long and reality sets back in. and i’m ticked that i had to stop because it was so good in my head. but this, this is loud and messy. this is not peaceful at all.
but the spirit starts working really patiently on me until i have a little breakthrough. walk with me here. let’s just call him spirit and i’ll be me ok, cause sometimes there’s this brain dialogue going on and you just have to listen in…
Spirit: if it’s messy and loud here, do you think it will be there too? it’s the same dishes and the same people.
me: yeah, but in the country i’ll be much neater. i’ll have a nice time doing the dishes looking out my pretty window. and i’ll have all kinds of time because i’ve simplified my lifestyle and possessions, so i’ll have some free time.
Spirit: so what will you do with all your free time?
me: oh, i don’t know. probably just sit on the porch alot. and i think maybe i’ll take up gardening. i’ve always wanted to have a garden. i can totally see myself gardening.
Spirit: and the kids will just go outside and play?
me: yeah, definitely. if i go outside, they do too. they love playing outside, but they mostly just want to be with me, and they love it when i’m relaxed and unplugged.
well, then Spirit didn’t say jack, He just sat there all quiet cause He knew He made His point, right? Lightbulb moment: I have a beautiful porch right outside this door. no, it doesn’t have a mountaintop view, but it’s still wonderful and peaceful. i also have an empty bed to put some flowers in. abby was having lunch with my mom and will at school, so it was just me and jude, and i scooped him up and went to the plant nursery. i bought some happy flowers and became a relaxed gardener last week. i worked harder than i thought i would, and i was sore the next day, but i did it. i searched it out and did it. moral of the story: get off the computer and go outside. and plant something natural and thank God for what you already have.
one more example to drive my point home, because i know alot of you are adopters and know what i’m talking about here. i seriously used to fantasize daily about my third child. i thought he’d be a girl and i pictured myself with her. i’d take her to all kinds of amazing places and introduce her to all kinds of amazing things. she would know such love! i’d pet her sweet little head to sleep and tell her stories and we’d go for walks. i’d just be a dreamy mom to her. but guess what? i am not that mom! and if i wanted to be, i certainly could be to the two other children i already had under my roof. that’s not really my style. i’m a great mom, but what it looked like in my head is not reality, and reality is fine and great (even though there’s not a ton of me petting anyone’s sweet head to sleep. ain’t nobody got time for that!). the key to joy is contentment and gratitude, and that can be found right now, right where you are. i promise.